The Editors of Cracked.com
Plume 2010
I like humor.
It's funny.
I like lists.
They tell me things in order.
I like humorous lists.
They tell me funny things in order.
I like books.
When I read them, I learn shit.
I like it when people put things I like together with other things I like.
I get twice as much like.
It's rare that I laugh out loud when I'm reading. It's even more rare when, hours after reading something that made me laugh out loud, I have to stop whatever I happen to be doing at that time to laugh some more. This was the unfortunately awesome affect I got from "You Might Be A Zombie and Other Bad News."
This book is not for everyone, of course. If you don't already frequent Cracked.com, and if you don't have a deliciously sick sense of humor, then you likely won't get much out of this book.
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't read it, of course. These may be exactly the folks who need to pick up (steal from the internet) a copy. It'll help you hone your sense of humor to a more colorful edge.
Even if you're not going to read this for the humor, you'll definitely be learning things. You'll be learning things like:
" New York Times journalist David Barstow discovered that in the run-up to the Iraq War, every single major media outlet had featured pro-war 'impartial experts' who were in fact government sock puppets (metaphorically speaking, in all but the most retarded cases). The report went on to reveal which Pentagon officials' bony wrists were protruding from the asses of which talking heads (still metaphorically speaking... hopefully). In the end Barstow's report reveailed that when it came to the Iraq War America got news that was as reliable as a Chineese Google search for 'Tiananmen Square.'"
The article, of course, goes on. So even if you don't feel like laughing your proverbial rocks off, you'll still be getting important bits of information. "You Might Be a Zombie" not only covers mover nature's perfect killing machines, but it also makes an attempt to inform the general public about really important human affairs issues.
Everything from media flaws to the Milgram study are covered between the covers of this all-covering book. The cover is nice, too.
An excerpt:
"Naturally, the chipmunks are kept pantless, forced to clothe themselves in modified burlap sacks. The fact that Alvin, Simon and Theodore never attempt escape suggests that the entire show is an exercise in Stockholm syndrome, and the mere existence of the Chimpettes implies an organized ring of abusive slave-parents exploiting their children for the good of the vast and powerful novelty-song industry."
I was told by my fundamentalist Christian 7th grade science teacher that penicillin was discovered by accident by a man who left his window open, and that all penicillin originated from a single mold spore, almost, he hinted, as if it was a miracle sent by Jesus to save mankind. Aww....
Thanks to the editors of Cracked.com, I now know that "North African tribesmen had been using penicillin for thousands of years by the time Fleming was born."
A miracle! A North African miracle!
To imagine "You Might be a Zombie," imagine "Everything You Know is Wrong." Then put that imaginary work into an imaginary blender with an imaginary "Napalm and Silly Putty. "
You have imaginary "You Might be a Zombie."
You have imaginary "You Might be a Zombie."
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