Viva Colombia

Sooooo I had the best time of my life. Ever.

Except for the horrible, shit-eating experience we had with Spirit Airlines.

Don't ever give these people your money or trust them with your life. Seriously.
On one of our flights, the seat section wasn't bolted to the floor on one end. Just sayin'.

Generally speaking, I'm a shitty photographer. I know it. I'm not ashamed.
It's partly because I don't have the patience to compose shots. Partly.

It's partly because I'm a shitty photographer.

Featured: corn, awesome

This guy parks like a fucking BOSS.

I really have no idea how he got those two wheels up on that step. There isn't a ramp anywhere. And if I recall correctly, this building is the equal of a county courthouse.
"Fuck it. I'm parking. HERE!"

Yep.

Coffee. In Colombia. You've not had any this good.

I said, you've not had any this good. Put your wayfarers down, close the lid to your macbook and listen to me:
You've not had any this good.

No. Shut your face and listen to me.

You've not had any this good. Ever. Anywhere.

No. Shut your fucking mouth and listen to me. Nobody cares about your Portland bullshit, your Austin scene, or your sister's pants.

Listen to me.

This. Is. The. Best. Shit. Ever.

Yeah.

Chill dog is Chill.
Dogs in Colombia, from my experience, are as content as a fat pothead with a box of tacos.

"Dirty on the outside, clean on the inside."

I saw this guy a couple of times in Bogota. I think his name is Harold, and he thinks your politics are boring as fuck.

Charlie Chaplin. In Zipaquira. Deal with it.


Right now I don't feel like writing about Colombia. I might tell some stories later. But trust me. It's an indescribably wonderful place full of awesome food, great scenery, and wonderful, caring people.

Go if you get the chance. You won't regret it.

Hit the road, Jack

Tomorrow I leave this:

Wifey, a friend and I are driving here:

After that, we're flying here:

Once we get there, we're going eat a bunch of this:

Then we're going to drink some of this:

And then have a nap.



Then we're going to go see this:

I think we might go here:

We'll probably ride one of these

To see the city.

And a whole bunch of other awesome things and places.


We were going to go here:

But too much of this:

Made the roads look like this:

Why do you hate, me Jeebus?

So now we aren't.


It's both ironic and shittily coencidental that the absence of rain here has caused emergency situations,  temporarily shut down some roads, robbed people of their homes, destroyed local agribusiness and generally fucked shit up. 

But where we're going, too much rain has caused emergency situations, temporarily shut down some roads, robbed people of their homes, destroyed local agribusiness and generally fucked shit up.



But that's okay, because we're still going to have a great, great time.


I think it would be impossible for me to not have a good time for a handful of reasons.
1- I'm going to be with people I enjoy.
2- I'm going to a new place, and that's always exciting.
3- Bandeja Paisa, Arepas, Hogao, et cetera.
4- I will finally get to experience the warm, generous and unique Colombian culture I've read and heard so much about.
5- It's not the Texas Panhandle

Bring it.

I've always wanted to go to South America. It seems like one of the last places where the notion of individual liberty hasn't been sacrificed on the altar of safety and security. 

I mean individual liberty in a Tom Robbins sense, not a Ron Paul sense, although they do have their similarities.

Reasonable safety and security is one thing, but I'm sick of living in a part of the world which expects me to experience life with training wheels on. People who try to live interesting lives are deviants here.

"If you take off those training wheels, you might just fall. Can't risk that. No no no."

I feel like life in this part of the US is sterile, flavorless, and homogenous.  It's a boring part of the world to live in.  I don't really like that.


If anything, where we're headed won't be boring.

Viva!